I am sure you are having a huge birthday celebration in 
Heaven Angel but please be close to your family who 
love and miss you so much. Be near them always but 
especially throughout the holidays. Hugs and prayers
to each one of your family and your friends.
Rosemary
sis of ^j^ Alvin Cremeans

*Thinkin' of U today and always*

Love is what makes you perfect!  Love is what kept us family!  Love is the cords that bound us as Mother and Son even against the oppositions that came.  I love you son!

From All of Us We Love n Miss U !!!!!

*Forever Changed*

Can you see the change in me? It may not be so obvious to you I participate in family activities. I attend family reunions.. I help plan holiday meals.

You tell me you're glad to see that I don't cry anymore. But I do cry! When everyone has gone - when it is safe- the tears fall. I cry in privacy so my family won't worry. I cry until I am exhausted and can finally sleep. You tell me you admire my strength and my positive attitude.

But I am not strong, I feel that I have lost control and I panic when I think about tomorrow.... next week.... next year. I go about the routine of my job. I complete my assigned tasks. I drink coffee and smile.

You tell me you are glad to see I'm "over" the passing of my loved one. But I'm not "over" it. If I get over it, I will never be the same as before my loved one passed on. I will never be the same.

At times I think I am beginning to heal , but the pain of losing someone I loved so much has left a permanent scar on my heart.

Everyone tells me that there glad to see I'm holding up so well. But I'm not holding up well. Sometimes I want to lock the door and hide from the world. I spend time with my friends, I seem calm and collected. I smile when appropriate. You tell me it's good to see me back to my "old self" But I will never be back to my "old self". Death and grief, have touched my life....

and I am changed forever.